been doing much of nothing

Just been moping around listening to music looking for a job and playing video games jobs are hard to find these days even crappy ones D: I hate having zero money. Its more than depressing. I should be happy and young now but i feel more tired and dull than anything. *sigh* Perhaps something will come around to make me happier with how things are now, but i don't see it as a near future event. Been a while since i wrote to myself here. I even reformatted my pc since then so i have much less stuff on my puter thats a good thing i suppose. still almost the same amount of music minus a few gigs. Been playing ff8 these days. Old memories come up with this game since played it years ago(99-03) on and off between those years. I had just moved to my new house in tennesee was depressed about leaving california. I got this as a birthday gift, it made me alittle happier.

Love :)

realized i didn't share my current fave song with you so here it goes:





his song/vid makes me wanna cry buckets of tears, and give Kwon a hug.

i love you.

drunk,,,

which i am now doesn't make me sadder or gladder just makes me look at the world with a different perspective, or perhaps with a different lense i just feel that things are different when im drinking. This wasn't the whole point of tonights post, tonights post was jsut go get back to my friends and anyone else who might ever read this, and i would like to say im sorry for disappearing. I love anyone who reads this most of all a few people who are in my blog list anyhow i love you guys and I hope you understand why I've been away from msn, facebook, crapspace or whatever place we may talk at. Id just like to let you know my birthday just recently past and i got a few new things that i might share with you later via pics or downloads. Love shouldn't be a casual word yet i hear people say it all the time thats the error of most people sadly and why their relationship ends so soon but for anyone(friends I love i hope for the best and i DO love you know matter what). btw i had some really good sushi a few days after my birthday i have to share that pic with you too. sorry im allover the place. Too many whiskey drinks i made, however its my bedtime, but i love you and hope to get back here soon. i will fix errors in the morning.


much love,


Min

btw me and one of my few friends are working on a blogspot together its: http://cookiesthanyou.blogspot.com/ take a look its new so not much is there, but go anyways. shoutouts to Kay and Nannie whom i still keep in touch with and would be willing to call friends forever even if its just online.....is this the whiskey talking..probably not. so i love you and Kitteh. :P

Hi i love you and will come back soon

like the title said i will post back here soon along with my other places :)

Insufferable Writing

Hello, its been a while since i charmed you with my great writing. So here it comes.

Okay, so to catch this stupid place up with my life. I will tell you in simple words how everything is...shitty. As always, right? No, if i said that id sounds like a naggy person, and I simply hate nag-type people. I haven't chatted with some friends in ages. One of my friends is married(good for him). A few others are hung up on the ladies(he knows who he is and might be pissed while reading this). Me, im still sad old me, looking around for new music that could possibly brighten my day. With music i still manage to find some glimmers in this world. I could honestly say music is my true love, as i haven't found one yet and I don't seem to care too. Too bad you can't kiss music. Well if its a cd you can but it won't kiss back, which is creepy right? Yeah so moving on...I found this new band it seems, as i found nothing really on them accept that they were hanging around the itunes store in the "j-pop" section. Okay on the band, "Earls court." Oddly enough i have a fixation on groups that name themselves after things in the UK, anyhow this band is great I have been listening the past few days and haven't been listening to much else. Im addicted to there album "Ballet of the sun" now don't think this is a review, but Id give it ten/ten stars. Enough with that, I found out about this Japanese singer Kakoimiku, amazing mature voice that sounds almost bluesy or jazzy. I really enjoy her music so far aswell. You could never get me to talk about another person, like you can get me to talk about a song. Someone hit on my the other day with complete fails as he tried to get his friend to do all the work and his friend was more attractive than him but acting like his friend was mute and couldnt do any talking for himself turned me off. They seemed like people i wouldn't get along with in the long run anyhow, we'd have some confrontation that would make me end up hating them. Im glad i shoved it off in the first place. See, my insufferable writing has me all over the place first its music then its guys, then its music then its guys. Mostly music. I dont know if theirs a guy in Memphis that would ever understand me, the one guy here who had a chance blew it by going into the military and coming back a total prick, so it was over a few yrs after it began seeing as i had known him since my 7th grade year in Highschool. Now how to end this without feeling so dumb....


(another guy who's an amazing singer) :D
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1VoOMSQW2vk

Food, dancing

I wanna dance, I wish i took more pics of myself id share them. Im bored. I need a camera and to put the cotton candy down. LOL Im making me some grilled fish and rice for dindin how awesome. I should have gotten vegetables for this :/ but its all good. *sigh* I wanna throw a party. and move to Cordova if im gonna live in memphis or atleast bartlett its much better than this place :/ and theres a bubble tea shop up there LOL :D

Can i ramble to myself....yes i can!!

Hmm i don't know what to write but i thought id come by and write something for myself today =] so is it oke if i ramble Mindsey?? Yeh sure. Oke : ). oke My sleep has been off since i came back home been trying to fix it permanently minus the weekends. :D and since i took those classes in california, I've been wondering why i wanna stay in the us. I mean if i have kids here, all they will get is lies, from the school books lol. but yeh i always thought about moving away from the us. *wonders how hard it would be* hmmmm Maybe france. I read so many places of republicans saying "this is the best place for blacks(the us)" and im like what the fook, if you minus 400 years of torment. and then other years of feeling sorry so putting us on welfare in order to feel better about yourself. but I always skipped that shit because i felt no need to dwell on the past. What I'd atleast like to do in life is learn from the past, but not be angry because of it. I hardly find that useful but i know alot of angry people especially in southern places. so its everywhere really. Race relations in the us have gotten waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay better. Every once in a while you see some idiot on the tv talking about how great everything in America is and it does relatively piss me off. Millions are out of work, millions don't have healthcare, millions are pissed. and they want something done. So do I. oke nice rambling session is ended quite nicely =]

wow.

I had abandoned this place i felt so low maybe i can write more now

For Miles. and Miles

Well for a while i felt, dejected, lame, unlifelike, like i wanted to disappear and never show my face to anyone again all because of one person. i felt like shit for half well more than half of last year and the beginning of this one. Meanwhile they moved on and did new things in their life. Mine was stuck in stone. All i could do was hate. and nothing else. Bad attitude and bitchiness out for all to see. I didnt even feel ashamed(still don't), most deserved how i treated them. I talked to my dad for hours about what happened really. How it made me feel less of myself. like i could jump of a cliff to die, but what would happen just to spite me is that fall would be never ending. He told me of all my troubles(more like reminded me) and i remembered i overcame obstacles harder than this yet im letting this one kill me. I'm letting the anger swallow me whole and never let me go. I felt like crying everyday. most days i did. I let that go. I haven't cried or felt the need too since i talked to my dad i dont feel all that rage. Im good now. surprisingly. i thought i was over this before. as you can see in the below post but it took a talk to my dad to make me realize i cant let that bitch control my feelings. i need to pick myself up and move on if i want to realize my dreams. with all my heart. THANX DAD =]